Fuck I know Ive been procrasinating.

It's all those summer TV schedules they are so fucking informative.

And the juxtapositions are startling. Just this evening I watched America's Next Top Model where the eliminated was told she was far too pudgy to be a model and then flicked over to a documentary about infant rape in South Africa. Apparently people who were raped as infants often grow up with a range of psychological problems, including the need to be Tyra Banks.

Things make me angry. I'll b frank. If I'm not walking around wondering why TEENAGER X has not messaged me back, I'm normally thinking about something someone has said that has pissed me right off. My Sister is getting on my nerves. As usual. She is off in la la land. And I know she is doing a lot for me right now and I couldn't get by without her, but I think that gives her certain degree of power over me and she knows it. I also don't talk about my problems with her, cause in my opinion she has lead a sheltered life and has limited life experience. She also has serious problems with the way I was raised. There's aren't purely philosophical issues she has either. She reckons I was spoiled and had it so much easier than what she did from our parents. I could do watever I wanted, got watever I wanted and didn't have to contribute to chores and stuff. Its not that I am saying that isn't entirely true, its just that she brings that up everytime I start talking about my problems.

OMG TANYA I USED TO BE A HOOKER.

OMG LUKE U SO SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE TO VACUUM WHEN WE GROWING UP.

Bling emotive reasoning never did anything for anyone. Including middle-class junkie fags like me. But for fucks sake I will wash the dishes from now on if you promise my life will start to come together soon.

And if dusting means getting rid of $16,ooo debt and if throwing away my designer jeans means I wont feel like fucking idiot teenage boys anymore - then I think that's a sacrifice....I'm not willing to make. Ha ha. Suck shit. I got a colour TV and u didn't. Now I'm a drug addict. Do u feel better now? I think u do, but that doesn't excuse your massive leap in logic that the two are somehow linked.

Oh and PS, i,m extra pissed-off at the moment cause I'm trying to withdraw from a couple of weeks of being off my head virtually everyday.