Last night my friend and I purposefully invited two guys over who wanted to fuck us.

What do we like about these guys??? Their good looks? Their personality?

No, we are really incredibly wet for their drugs.

It's the second night they have come over, pumped us full of bongs, smokes and bourbon and then left without getting any.

I'll give them another 2 times before they realise what is going on and we never see them again. But there will be others. Even smart men have a terrible habit of thinking with their dicks.

At one stage last night I got hungry for crystal meth or "wine spritzers" as we like to call them. I thought if we pushed it far enough they might buy us some. I started sitting there playing with nipples and we went through the kitchen debating the best thing to put on them to be licked off. We settled on cream cheese, but then I got too stoned and chickened out. They left to go out and take pills. We stayed and cacked ourselves when they left.

I'm happy with that.

It's a common thing for me after a relationships ends....no, let me re-phrase that....after I get dumped by the latest hot young thing I'm dating....I go out, use guys up, not cause I need to financially - but the ego boost is so hot right now.

I've got three months off work. To "get well" again. So I'll plenty of time to find men who like looking after me. Frankly, it's either them or centrelink and when it comes down to it, I think both would be rather fetching.